by The Rev. Dr. Max Lynn
SCRIPTURE READINGS I Corinthians 13:1-13, John 19:23-30
Transcribed from the sermon preached on MAY 14, 2023
When Dacher Keltner and his colleagues did interviews in 26 countries to study how people experienced awe, they found that one of the ways we experience awe is through birth. A woman from Japan wrote: “When I gave birth to a child for the first time, I was deeply moved by the realization and responsibility of becoming a parent, as well as the preciousness of life. From now on I felt that I would desperately live just to protect this life.”
Of all the people mentioned in the Gospels, who do you think cared most about Jesus, who would be most devastated by his death?
As Jesus was about to die, of those who he was leaving, for whom would he have felt most bad? Mom, right? A pretty easy answer.
The Gospels tell us of no biological children.
Now the book and movie The Da Vinci Code, bouncing off the Gospel of Mary which implies exceptional intimacy between Mary Magdalene and Jesus, it extrapolates that Jesus had a child with Mary. The implication, so goes the book and movie, is that the bloodline of Jesus threatened the hierarchy of the Catholic Church. If Jesus had kids, then they would be next in line, not the Pope, for authority and leadership of the Church. It cracked me up to hear people discuss Da Vinci Code thinking that the promotion of the ancient practice of handing down royal authority based on bloodline and progeny was thought to be some kind of radical new idea.
On the contrary, what is really radical about the Gospel of Jesus Christ is that divine and royal authority are not passed on by blood, not by the holy sperm but by the Holy Spirit, visible by the fruit of love. But I jump ahead.
So anyway, with no children of his own, we can assume that Jesus’ most significant attachment was his mother. Joseph, the dad of Jesus, or the stepdad, depending on how you look at it, is barely mentioned as the husband of Mary, while mom shows up in the story from beginning to the end.
The care, love and trust of Mother Mary is not a surprise. Oxytocin appears to be a primary biological underpinning of love, devotion and trust, notes Dacher Keltner in his book, Born to Be Good. Women average seven times the rate of oxytocin in the bloodstream as men. (Keltner, Dacher. Born to Be Good. P, 217) Oxytocin is increased in pregnant and lactating women. It reduces stress and increases desire for social bonding.
In many mammals and primates, the males compete for dominance, with an alpha male eventually getting most of the sex and fathering most of the children. Males may seek to kill babies that are probably not theirs. But in humans, who have larger brains which require more premature birth, babies need lots of care and protection. So, human fathers and other people in the intimacy, caregiving mix, get a release of oxytocin too. “Recent research finds that both parents show elevated levels of oxytocin…that promotes boundary-dissolving openness and connection, six months after the birth of their first child. And a region of the mammalian hypothalamus, the MPOA, activates patterns of parenting in both women and men, whether heterosexual or gay. The MPOA is responsive to the sights and sounds of infants – the skin, cooings, cuddling, touch, mutual gaze, and fragrance and softness of the tops of their heads. This region of the brain activates dopamine release and deactivates the threat-sensitive amygdala. (Keltner, Dacher. Awe: The transformative Power of Everyday Wonder. P. 226)
If children don’t get this trusting love, touch, cuddling and adoration, they are much more likely to develop difficulties later in life. So ,we have evolved to be highly social animals, developing small groups for intimate support and nurture of children and each other. We are created to love.
But anyway, back to the story. Jesus nailed to the cross, dying a painful, slow death, on shameful display, naked and bloody, and his mother is there with him. What is going on in her mind and heart? What is he thinking about? Well, says John, Jesus is thinking about his mother. About her safety and care after he is gone.
[26] When Jesus saw his mother, and the disciple whom he loved standing near, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son!”
[27] Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home. We are not told of the death of his father Joseph, but it is implied that he is no longer around. Therefore, Mary, as a woman without legal ability to own property or receive inheritance, is in danger of being alone without a place to go.
Now according to John, there is one disciple who Jesus is especially close to, the beloved disciple. Some think the beloved disciple is John, and John doesn’t want to toot his own horn. Others think not using a specific name is a literary device used to get us to identify with that disciple. In other words, you and I are to see ourselves as the beloved disciple. But we can also identify with Mary.
In other words, we are supposed to take care of each other, like mothers and children. The beloved disciple is grieving and in need of support too. So, Jesus gifts him his mom. Take care of each other. Be a mother to others, even if you are not their biological mother. Respect, care, support and protect each other when grieving, lonely and vulnerable, even when the one grieving is not your biological mom. Share meals together, shelter one another, protect one another, play, touch, challenge and nurture one another.
Mother each other. Love one another. This is what the Church family is defined by. Blood is significant only as it shows the radical commitment of Jesus love, as he is willing to sacrifice his life due to his love for others, for you and me. When we take communion, the body and blood of Christ, we are empowered and challenged to do the same, to love one another.
Now conventional wisdom in the first Century would expect powerful people, or more precisely powerful men to act like many mammal alpha males, like bulls or lions, monopolizing food resources and control of females, gathering in palaces and large harems. Then authority is passed by blood. But not so in the Church.
Even things considered religiously significant, such as prophetic powers, understanding all mysteries and all knowledge, things we might consider when appointing a Pope or someone in authority, they don’t amount to a hill of beans without love. If I have power and authority and knowledge, but don’t have love, says Paul, I am nothing.
But if we have it, if love is the centerpiece of our faith, if like Jesus it moves through our veins, then, no matter what our social station, we are tapped into the one with all authority over heaven and earth. Last week we read in I Peter where it says, once you were no people, but now you are God’s people. And over in Romans 8 he writes:
[14] For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God.
[15] For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the spirit of adoption. When we cry, “Abba! Father!”
[16] it is the Spirit himself bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God,
[17] and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. By love, we are the family of God. Coheirs with Christ. Let us celebrate and practice mothering love, with our own children, and with others, today, and every day, until the end of time.