by The Rev. Dr. Max Lynn
SCRIPTURE READINGS Genesis 17:1-7, 15-16, Luke 18:15-17, Mark 8:31-38
Transcribed from the sermon preached on FEBRUARY 25, 2024
Genesis 17:1-7, 15-16
1When Abram was ninety-nine years old the LORD appeared to Abram, and said to him, "I am God Almighty; walk before me, and be blameless.
2And I will make my covenant between me and you, and will multiply you exceedingly."
3Then Abram fell on his face; and God said to him,
4"Behold, my covenant is with you, and you shall be the father of a multitude of nations.
5No longer shall your name be Abram, but your name shall be Abraham; for I have made you the father of a multitude of nations.
6I will make you exceedingly fruitful; and I will make nations of you, and kings shall come forth from you.
7And I will establish my covenant between me and you and your descendants after you throughout their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be God to you and to your descendants after you."
Luke 18:15-17
15Now they were bringing even infants to him that he might touch them; and when the disciples saw it, they rebuked them.
16But Jesus called them to him, saying, "Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of God.
17Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it."
Mark 8:31-38
31And he began to teach them that the Son of man must suffer many things, and be rejected by the elders and the chief priests and the scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again.
32And he said this plainly. And Peter took him, and began to rebuke him.
33But turning and seeing his disciples, he rebuked Peter, and said, "Get behind me, Satan! For you are not on the side of God, but of men."
34And he called to him the multitude with his disciples, and said to them, "If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.
35For whoever would save his life will lose it; and whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it.
36For what does it profit a man, to gain the whole world and forfeit his life?
37For what can a man give in return for his life?
38For whoever is ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him will the Son of man also be ashamed, when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels."
I’m going to do two things this morning. First, I want to talk about the importance of trust in society. Second, I want to reflect on elements of trust in relationships.
I think that part of the reason for increased fear in our society is a breakdown of trust. Trustworthy economic and governmental institutions enable people to prosper. Acemoglu and Robinson in their book Why Nations Fail, contrast “Inclusive” and Extractive economies and political institutions. They write: “To be inclusive, economic institutions must feature secure private property, an unbiased system of law, and a provision of public services that provides a level playing field in which people can exchange and contract; it also must permit the entry of new businesses and allow people to choose their careers… A businessman who expects his output to be stolen, expropriated, or entirely taxed away will have little incentive to work. Let alone any
incentive to undertake investment and innovations.” (Why Nations Fail. P.75)
“Secure property rights, the law, public services, and the freedom to contract and exchange all rely on the state, the institution with the coercive capacity to impose order, prevent theft and fraud, and enforce contracts between private parties.”
No nation is perfect, but they need to be good enough that people trust that education, hard work, and investment can pay off.
Inclusive institutions are contrasted with what they call extractive institutions. Nations with extractive institutions exploit land, law, and labor to take what they want and prevent others, especially the mass of the population from benefitting from their own work or from being competition for the ruling elite. They seek to establish monopolies on land and business and thereby control labor and resources and seek political forms that disempower the people and rubber stamp whatever they want to do. Lack of trust and hope trickles down so that people at lower levels try to get what they can while they can, in any way they can. So, you have a rise of crime, graft, bribes, extortion, and general division. Since the extractive rulers think only a few can have and keep power, they use violence to knock each other out and the police and military to put down the masses of poor who get tired of being oppressed and exploited. Free speech and assembly are exchanged for loyalty to the rulers or loyalty to ideology.
The strange thing is that if it were possible for the ruling elite to spread out economic and political power, the prosperity would make them richer than they already are. The people have nothing to spend. People with money spend money; people who trust their rights will be honored will invest in education, creativity, innovation and hard work. Trust in the present tense decreases fear and provides hope for the future.
In Mark 8 Jesus says 8:[34] "If anyone would come after me, let them deny themself and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever would save their life will lose it; and whoever loses their life for my sake and the gospel's will save it. For what does it profit a person, to gain the whole world and lose their soul?"
We tend to think of this as a spiritual statement, that if we sacrifice for it and treat others as we would like to be treated it will make us feel better, even if we suffer in a material sense. I do think Jesus is talking about a sacrificial love that creates a sense of well-being mostly independent of material wealth. But it does seem there is evidence that being selfish and greedy helps create a world of selfishness and greed. And if we share rights and resources with others, we benefit as well. There are negative and positive feedback loops.
If we don’t expect others to be honest and trustworthy, then we are much less likely to be honest and trustworthy ourselves. If the world is scary and unpredictable, it is hard to develop hope.
This is why trust is such an important ingredient in healthy families. Children need to be able to trust that their parents will be there for them, to protect, support, and provide and love them with regularity. Children with unpredictable, or predictably narcissistic parents or adults in their lives will be afraid to step out and step up. Without trust, children grown up to be emotional whiners or greedy brutes.
Providing a stable environment for children where they feel safe, loved, nurtured, and encouraged is super important not only for their well-being but also for the well-being of society. Children need a safe environment where they can carry innocence for a time, to grow and mature at a pace that is good for them. Perhaps the most damaging breach of trust for children is sexual abuse. As a community and as individuals, it is a great honor and duty to nurture and protect children, to share loving and trustworthy touch devoid of sexual intention.
Trust is broken with selfishness, lies, deceit, and manipulation. Secrets come from and create a lack of trust. Trust is damaged by broken promises, especially if promises are broken often.
1. So, trust is established and maintained by honesty, clear communication and doing what we are expected to do and what we say we are going to do. If we have a contract to show up at work at a certain time and do a certain task in order to get a certain pay, then we should honor the contract and show up and work or honor the contract and pay what we said we would. One strong positive about the U.S. is that ,in general, for the most part, people do what they agree to do.
2. Having clear boundaries so that others know what to expect is important. I know a family where the parents wanted to be so attentive and emotionally responsive and loving that they would do anything to resolve any degree of dislike. So, when the child didn’t like a certain food that was cooked for everyone, they would cook something else. There was no boundary. Besides that, they began to grow up thinking they couldn’t handle the world unless they had everything their way. They started to have low self-esteem and anxiety problems and fear of challenge and new experiences. We had the kids stay with us for a time. Feliciana grew up knowing what it means to survive with little and be grateful, so she just expected the kids to eat what was put in front of them. This was a boundary. They griped and complained about various ingredients and didn’t eat a full meal the first night. They complained the second day a little less. By the third day they realized their complaining and not eating was only making them hungry, so they ate everything. If we don’t establish and hold boundaries of expectation for what we will put up with, we are much more likely to be taken advantage of.
3. Integrity, or practicing what we preach is important if we want people to trust us.
4. Being accountable and saying we are sorry is important for trust. Nobody is perfect, and eventually all of us will make mistakes, break commitments, overstep our bounds, or don’t step up when we should. Honestly acknowledging when we have hurt someone helps reestablish trust. Repentance.
5. Knowing when a conversation or what part of a relationship should be confidential is important. People won’t want to share with us if we are going to gossip to everyone else.
6. Grace is especially important in establishing and maintaining trust. A loving relationship creates space for another to be vulnerable and honest about who they are and what they are thinking. Love takes precedence over judgement. Forgive and we will be forgiven. Listen and we will be listened to. Speak honestly and others will be more likely to be honest.
We trust different people for different things. There are some people who are super trustworthy. You know who they are, and you can count on them for just about everything. But it also occurred to me when I was thinking about trust that I often trust different people for different things. One person I know is a super good listener and problem solver. He doesn’t spend his time questioning or challenging or thinking about the big picture as much as he does simply and narrowly helping you with whatever problem you think you have. His boundaries for himself are weak since he is so inclined to want to be helpful. He is very good at it and many people trust him for this reason. His trustworthiness creates hope. But If I want to think about boundaries and limits and the big picture, if I want someone who has the honesty and courage to challenge my way of thinking or behaving, I may go to someone else.
I’ve read in several places that mothers and fathers often offer different kinds of support for children. Mothers are more accepting, emotionally open, loving, and protective while fathers often push and challenge, encouraging toughness and adventure. Sometimes it is good to express our fear and feelings. Sometimes we need to suck it up and tough it out. Sometimes desiring our children to be risk takers and macho and tough backfires. We push our kids into situations they are not ready for, and they get terrified or hurt, and begin to doubt their ability and not trust those of us doing the pushing. Or, in thinking they are supposed to be tough, they close off emotionally. Of course, there is a fine line between courageous and stupid, and hopefully fathers are a trustworthy guide between the two. As trustworthy parents we want to give the right challenge at the right time for the right reason.
Skill often influences trust. So, if I have a money issue, I would go to someone good with money and math. You might be super kind and honest and caring Christian but if we take kids to the beach, I’m looking for a lifeguard with ocean experience to trust. So often trustworthiness entails knowing when to say we are not the person for the job or accept with grace when others decide someone else might be more trustworthy for a particular task.
I think I am pretty good at that one. And I thank God that we have a community of a variety of people and gifts who can be trusted with the many tasks and relationships involved in running a church, in being the Body of Christ. May we continue to grow in trustworthiness, be honest, do what we say we are going to do, acknowledge our limits, challenge each other, be gracious and forgiving to ourselves and each other, and nurture space for young and old to feel loved and to thrive. For when we give, we get back. When we sacrifice, we receive a blessing.
Amen.